- Make an extra copy of the house/car keys and keep the in a secret place, preferably outside your home.
- Tell ___________ about the violence and request they call the police if they hear suspicious noises.
- Teach your children how to call the police.
- Teach your children to be safe by developing their own plan, i.e. stay in their bedroom during arguments, leave the house and go to a neighbor/friends, call 911 and/or tell a relative.
- Develop a code word with your children and friends so they can call for help.
- During an argument, try to avoid rooms with no outside door or those containing potential weapons.
- Call the police (911) and if possible, get an automatic dial phone.
- If you have to leave, identify where you can go.
B. SAFETY WHEN PREPARING TO LEAVE
- Call your nearest shelter and keep in contact with the advocates in order to feel supported and stay focused.
- DO NOT threaten to leave or say you are leaving your partner.
- Save a little money each week and put it in a place only you know about.
- Open your own savings account to increase independence.
* Make sure bank statements are mailed somewhere else *
- Identify the domestic violence shelter closest to your house and have the phone number close at hand.
- Arrange for a place to stay, anytime of the day or night.
- Locate the closest telephone to your house. If it is a pay phone, always have change available in the house or hidden outside.
- Pack some clothes for you and your children, and place them in a safe place (with friends, family or at work).
- Organize your important papers together (or make copies), an extra set of keys, extra medicines and put them in a place you can easily get to.
- Rehearse your escape plan and, if appropriate, practice it with your children.
C. SAFETY WITH AN ORDER OF PROTECTION
- DO NOT in any way contact your partner while you have an order of protection.
- Keep your order of protection on you at all times and give a copy to a trusted neighbor or family member.
- Call the police once the order of protection is violated.
- Think of alternative ways to keep safe.
- Inform you family, friends, neighbors and others that you have an order of protection in effect.
- Remember that orders of protection don't guarantee safety.
D. SAFETY ON THE JOB & IN PUBLIC
- Have your place of business listed on your order of protection.
- Decided who at work you will inform of your situation, including office or building security. Provide a picture of your abuser.
- Discuss how co-workers or supervisors should respond if your abuser shows up at work.
- Arrange to have an answering machine, caller ID, or a trusted friend or relative screen your calls if possible.
- Devise a safety plan for when you leave work. Have someone escort you to your car or bus and wait until you leave.
E. THOUGHTS ON CLEAR DECISIONS
- Do not use drugs of alcohol. Stay clear and focused. Call for support!
- Call an advocate at Stepping Stones 24/7 for support & help staying focused on your goals.
- Come to Stepping Stones ........................
- Make an appointment with an advocate at Stepping Stones to come in and help you design a more detailed and strategic safety plan, and/or to help set goals for personal growth & self-sufficiency.
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